This feature is back on the advice of one of my buddies who told me something along the lines of, “I can’t stand that gosh-accursed metal music, but I love it when you put silly captions on pictures!”. Classy fellow.
Through the magic of tangents (thanks, trig!), I eventually found myself thinking about the various bad ideas I’d posted throughout this blog’s lifetime, and thinking that I wanted to see some of these illustrated. With that in mind, here are a couple that some day, in the future, I might PAY to have illustrated.
161. Ikaaae, Zeanly, and Pigpog, the three demons of Super Mario Bros corruption
Introduce these three impish fellows to your Game Genie™, and let the fun begin as you glitch your way through over 90% of the game!
162. JPEG Warrior
Bowto th mbster of losiness!(This slogan wuz compresed wit JPEG lg0rithms)
163. Optimus Prime rib
164. GNU Image Manipulation Program suit
It has to be durable, especially around the… sleeves. And it also has to be open source.
165. A free hotel with every purchase of $50 or more
“Boss, aren’t you worried this might cause a lot of inflation in the long term?” “Eh, that just means people will spend more of their money here.”
166. Mario and Sonic Are Surrounded By Death at The Olympic Games
“Are you sure the Badnik toss was a good choice for an event?” “Hey, you didn’t complain about the Goomba stomp.”
167. 343 Guilty Spork
“Oh dear. This soup… it’s like a Flood to my senses!”
168. Glenn Quackmire
“Who else but Quackmire? Giggity.”
169. Dive Man’s Day Off
Hey, Cameron. If we played by the rules, Rock wouldn’t be in Wily Stage Two by now.
170. A machine that juxtaposes random concepts to make horrific abominations
Oh… you’ve figured me out! You look nice. How’s the weather where you come from?
Now that I think of it, a lot of older Bad Ideas installments are rife with opportunities for illustration. Maybe I can art-bounty those too.
Dwarf Fortress is available from its official website. Why aren’t you playing it? Afraid of what the giant badgers might do to you?
Our friend Matt “GrandDracolich” continues to have an internet presence through here and his blog. There’s also his Youtube channel… but you can reach that through his blog. Might as well take the scenic route, anyways. While you’re at it, check out the previous installment, which insists it’s a jack of all trades.
You know, it’s probably worth mentioning that most of these pickup lines are produced slowly and gradually, at a rate that so far has exceeded 10 a month. On the other hand, our author Matt “GrandDracolich” (ghastly as his name is) decided impulsively to make this installment a few days ago, and it produced results rather quickly. What’s the occasion, you might ask? Please note the day which this was posted. You could also check out the previous installments – the last one had no specific theme.
101. Hey baby, wanna go out with me the day after Valentine’s Day, when everything’s a lot cheaper?
102. Wanna be my ho ho ho?
Sorry, but I’ve already got myself a twinkie kid.
103. Looks like a happy new rear!
104. It’s President’s Day! Know how many presidents had mistresses?
105. Are you one of Santa’s elves? ‘Cause you’re short and your ears look weird.
106. I have a dream, and you’re in it.
Hey, I’ve had that same dream too! I always end up devouring you alive, for some reason.
107. Wanna give me something to be thankful for, today?
108. If I pinch you, it’s because you’re not wearing green.
If I punch you, it’s because I saw a Volkswagen Beatle.
109. Hey baby, you know what I love? Not being alone on Valentine’s Day.
110. I came up with a new holiday. You go out with me, and I celebrate that date every year.
Sure, today is Valentine’s day… but what about tomorrow? What about the day after that? We only have enough love to last us until April unless we start rationing it out right now! And don’t get me started on candy hearts.
First installment of 2013. That’s got to mean something besides an arbitrary milestone, right? …
Nah. To meditate on the periodic nature of this feature, check out the last installment, which focused on Dungeons and Dragons related lines. To wonder what might possess a person to use these… use your head, but if you’re interested in reading the opinions of Matt “GrandDracolich” (this perpetual feature’s author) on game design, check out his blog.
Matt “GrandDracolich” has indicated a significant interest in tabletop gaming and Forgotten Realms (a popular Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting) in the past. His Let’s Play channel, in fact, contains significant amounts of gameplay footage from Baldur’s Gate, he occasionally mentions the series on his blog, and he decided to post ten related pickup lines as part of his monthly obligation. The most recent (unthemed) installment can be read here.