Home > Humor, Pickup Lines That (Probably) Won't Work > Pickup Lines That (Probably) Won’t Work #14 – Metal Edition

Pickup Lines That (Probably) Won’t Work #14 – Metal Edition

This has been planned for a while, but Pickup Lines That (Probably) Won’t Work is no longer going to be a monthly feature. Matt “GrandDracolich” claims that it’s getting increasingly hard to come up with “good” ones (for the definition of good we’re using). But it was a good run – over a year, in fact. I thought I might pay my respects by attempting some bad pickup lines myself. If you’ve been paying attention to the title, you’ll note that these relate to heavy metal music.

131. Hey, baby, I’ve got some Diamond Head downstairs if you care to take a look.
132. You can play my power chord any day.
You look like the kind of person who’s more into monophonic tremelo riffing.
133. Would you be my Morbid Angel for 20 bucks?
134. Your ass is bigger than Nightwish’s backing orchestra!
Your dick is smaller than Cryptopsy’s record sales after they released “The Unspoken King”!
135. Want to ride the midnight meat train?
136. I sure wouldn’t try to escape if we were both trapped under ice.
137. I bet I can satisfy your Transylvanian hunger.
138. When I’m done with you, you’ll be far beyond driven.
That sounds like an awfully vulgar display of power.
139. I tried calling the number of the beast, but all I got was you.
140. What say you and I go back to my place and do it until the house goes up in flames, and we feel a sense of dark tranquility?
These are awfully silly, but that’s… kind of the point. Anyways, there might be more of these in the future, but they’re no longer a monthly guarantee.
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