Dwarf Fortress is available from its official website. Why aren’t you playing it? Afraid of what the giant badgers might do to you?
Our friend Matt “GrandDracolich” continues to have an internet presence through here and his blog. There’s also his Youtube channel… but you can reach that through his blog. Might as well take the scenic route, anyways. While you’re at it, check out the previous installment, which insists it’s a jack of all trades.
121. Are you a Kobold? ‘Cause you stole my heart.
122. Hey baby, wanna become a Legendary Woodworker?
123. You’re hotter than my magma furnace.
124. Dude cancels drink: Interrupted by hot girl.
Dude cancels clean self: Too insane.
125. You’re so well-sculpted, all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality.
I menace with spikes of steel and leather!
126. I’m a trained speardwarf.
127. Hey baby, are you an elven diplomat? Because you seem really concerned with the wood around here.
128. Hey baby, my room finally has a bed after four years.
129.You’re giving me a strange mood.
130. I must be training my mining skill, ’cause I really dig you!
Did you just break the fort’s cistern? We’re all going to die now!
The author says he discovered these lines in an eerie cavern. The air above its dark stone floor was alive with vortices of purple light and dark, boiling clouds. Seemingly bottomless pits marked the surface. If it weren’t for all the heavy metal I listen to and review, I’d say that’s why I’ve been hearing horrifying screams recently.