Home > Bad Ideas, Humor > Harnessing the power of prepubescent girls and big corporations

Harnessing the power of prepubescent girls and big corporations

Don’t worry. Despite the name I’ve provided  for this, it does not involve anything like state sponsored pedophilia – that would just be idiotic, and it’s probably more disturbing than what you might’ve thought of when you first saw the title. In addition, I think the majority of this might be cribbed from “The Dilbert Future” – if it is, it remains in my opinion a satisfying variant.

You people know how there’s an endless amount of children (mainly girls due to marketing?) falling for a seemingly endless cavalcade of pop music that is, at best, mediocre, and at worst, painful. At its most hardcore, it ends up medio-core, but that’s another story. Anyways, trying to ban the crap would be morally wrong, even by my standards. Trying to turn people onto better music is a good idea, but it’s unlikely that the vast majority of the population cares. But I had an idea…

What if we took advantage of said music’s popularity and harnessed it to create something useful?

For instance, the USA is trying to reduce its dependency on foreign fuels, especially petroleum. How about we set up large human-sized hamster wheels outside music stores, and offer various musical gifts to anyone who runs in them for a given amount of time? The hamster wheels would be hooked up to electrical generators and batteries to provide power for the business.

Besides providing the aforementioned electricity to the store, there’s other benefits:

1. The musicians who participate in such a program (most likely the pop musicians, anyways) would gain awareness in the eyes of the public, and ideally, some of the money that the buildings save on electricity.

2. It would provide considerable exercise to the overweight masses of this country.

Think about it, and then think of all the people who would run, or perhaps exercise-bike their way to seeing their idol of the month or getting free stuff as a result of it. There’s a good chance that you’re that sort of person.

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  1. 2010/08/22 at 06:02

    While the principle could have some merit, the specific idea with electricity would not work well: A child running in a wheel would simply not generate enough power to make a practical difference.

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