Tagline Archive

I came to the conclusion that I do, in fact, want to save some of the taglines I’ve put on the website. Not necessarily in chronological order. Mostly the stuff I can remember.

1. YOU DO NOT BANDAGE A WOUND WITH A LIVE GRENADE.

2. The runtime of the madeline cookie scene in Swann’s Way is O(n log n).

3. “Hey, sexy lady, all that concealer you’re wearing won’t conceal the fact you’re a dumbass…”

4. “Curses! I’ve been sighted again!”

5.”What did the Johnny Poplover say at the piano concert? “When do they start singing?”

6. “LESLIE GORE IS BRUTAL! IT MAKES CANNIBAL CORPSE LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF SOFT ROCKERS!”

7. Me? I’m an anti-hipster. I buy obscure, random stuff, ignore it, and claim I only own it “ironically”. Then, when nobody’s looking, I sell it on eBay.

8. Babarface: The World Is Yours. Coming in 2013.

9. Some metal, some of the time. That’s so assertive, it’s arousing.

10. If an apple falls on Newton’s head in the forest, does it make a sound?

11. “What do you call a doctor that also does stand-up comedy? Spinefeld.”

12. “Because witches and magicians don’t know HTML and CSS.”

13. Am I the only person who finds the idea of a human infesting a headcrab amusing?

14. Pa! Come quick! The elephant got drunk on tea again!

15. What’s it called when slimes gossip about each other? Viscous rumors.

16. The youth of America today is so wonderful… And I’m proud to be a part of this gigantic mass deception.

17. You’re more likely to get shampoo than you are to get laid.

18. It’s groin-grabbingly transcendent!

19. How many feet does a chicken have? 15; 2 on its body, and 13 because humor relies on subverting your expectations.